Father’s hugs

So I’ve been pondering this whole life thing, as of late, and the end of my mission was really the beginning of the rest of my life and everything that the mission has helped me create in myself. I loved my mission with all of my heart. There is something so special about constantly testifying of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ and I will always remember it fondly. Of course I look back and try my best to see all of the good but it’s not hard by any means to see the rough times either. I remember talking with one of my companions when everything was so hard and we just wanted to have a fathers hug. I know there have been times in my life where I’ve been needing something and just wanting relief and I’ve turned to my father and have found that comfort and I know there were times on my mission where I really just wanted a hug from my Dad. He was only 1700 miles away.

Now that I’m home and I have access to my Dad, it really hasn’t been the easiest transition back into ‘normal life’ I feel like my life as a missionary was normal and something that I could do forever though I’m happy to see my family and to hug all of them again. Though it’s been wonderful seeing my family and re-entering society as a normal person (which I don’t think I will ever actually fully fit that description by any means), I’ve felt lost. I know that I control my future at this point and it’s a scary prospect and there are times that I just want to break down and cry. In those moments, that’s when I feel the love of my Father-my Heavenly Father. He knows how I am feeling and He knows how I can overcome this sense of loss. Now all I have to do is my part, I have to continually turn to Him and His words, in the scriptures, and I will once again feel that peace and I have.

In those moments where I feel the weakest, I can reach for my Father and be comforted. Just as I once longed for a hug from my Dad, I now long for a hug from my Father and to feel of that continuous peace and reassurance. Luckily, it’s something I can look for, seek after, and find on a daily basis. I just have to reach for Him and He’s there. If I do my part, if I work on my part of my personal relationship with my Father in Heaven, with His Son Jesus Christ, I will feel the peace of the Holy Ghost in my life. Just like Christ promises in John 16:33 “These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.”

Oh what marvelous comfort and what marvelous joy which can be found in the hope of the gospel of Jesus Christ. They invite all men and women everywhere to repent and to taste of such peace.

Looking to fill the void

So have you ever asked yourself questions and never seem to find answers that satisfy? I know I have. I’ve asked myself, where I came from? why I’m here? is there a purpose to this life? Does God love me? Does He even exist?

I know I’ve asked myself these questions and before I even really gave religion a chance, I figured there was no point and there was no purpose. I figured that I had all the answers and that I could do whatever I wanted to do. Unfortunately, it took me a long time to realize that I was still searching for meaning, I was still searching for a purpose and a point. I was actually looking for some kind of value for myself. That’s when I started checking out religions again.

It seems that when we’re searching, it doesn’t matter where we look or what we do, our spirits are never fully satisfied so we keep filling our hearts with junk. We keep trying to fill ourselves up with something but I know for myself, I was never satisfied! It didn’t matter what changes I brought in or what things I tried, I wasn’t satisfied and I kept searching.

Fortunately I started looking for happy people and wanted the happiness that they had. I found some very happy people in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and I actually started paying attention to what my parents were trying to teach me, what I was supposed to be learning in sunday school and what people had been trying to tell me all along. I decided that this was something that I wanted, I wanted that void, that black hole to be gone, I wanted to be satisfied. I started trying out what it says in the Book of Mormon “And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of CHrist, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost. And by the power of the Holy Ghost, ye may know the truth of all things.” Moroni 10:4-5. We can know the truth of ALL THINGS! That is an awesome promise.

I testify to you, that the void that was in my life is gone. My questions have received answers and my heart and spirit has been satisfied. I know that Jesus Christ is the only way that we can return to be with our Father in Heaven. I know that God loves me and that He loves you and that He sent His son, Jesus Christ, to pay the punishment for our sins so that we can be made clean. We don’t have to be weighed down and burdened by our guilt and our shame but we can be forgiven and we can find happiness. We can experience true freedom and then we can take joy in this wonderful world around us. How thankful I am, that God loves us enough to give us gifts so that we can return to be with Him. Thank you, thank you Heavenly Father!