So I originally started this blog as an effort to show how God is an instrument in our daily lives and yet I have failed miserably because I haven’t ever written about my daily life. In fact I haven’t written anything since last July and I feel terrible for not writing more often and as I’m currently in a low point on the rollercoaster that I like to refer to as life, I figured it was time to acknowledge many of the people and many of the things that I will never forget though I may not interact with them much-which led me to my long forgotten blog that has lain dormant for some time.
It baffles me how I seem to be so much more creative and in the mood to do express that creativity in moments of sadness and melancholy. I never have understood why this happens but I know that it’s not a new phenomenon-I have written poetry, drawn, come up with plotlines etc while being morose. It’s as though my mind is restless and nothing can really help until I’ve expressed it in some forms. It’s like Edgar Allen Poe or Vincent Van Gogh seemed to be haunted by the same phenomenon. Not that I in any way compare to their genius but they were often driven by the same desire-or so I’m told. They expressed themselves and as a result of that, they will not be forgotten.
Many times in my life, I have expressed the desire to not be forgotten, to not be looked over or be a background character and yet as I move, my friends move, or life changes happen, I find myself forgotten over and over again. Then I read the scriptures. And even though I know that I am far less than perfect, and I sometimes hurt those around me, God is still there for me and He has not forgotten me-even when I cry in my petty weakness “are you there? do you care? do I matter to YOU?” And unbelievably, God answers my questions over and over again “Yes I am here. Read John 3:16 and that’s how much I care about you. ‘For can a woman forget her suckling child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee…Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; they walls are continually before me.’ 1 Nephi 21:15-16 or Isaiah 49:15-16.
What does that mean? It means that God cares, He sent His Son, Jesus Christ so that we won’t ever have to be alone. We can find peace and comfort and joy to our weary and restless souls. I like His plan.